April 19, 2011
Contact: Rebecca Valentine
To Honor Earth Day, Confessor Hears Carbon Sins
For environmental activists and eco-conscious types who find themselves guilt-ridden by the amount of greenhouse gases they emit, don’t despair: there’s a new eco-persona ready to hear your transgressions. The Carbon Confessor, a beneficent being from California, promises to “hold in his/her bosom the patience and kindness to absolve your carbon sins.”
“Many people are trying their best to live in harmony with the planet” says the Carbon Confessor in a gentle and measured voice. “But very often, we see that our actions are not in alignment with our highest green values, and we become disappointed in ourselves and feel quite guilty.” That’s where the confessing comes in: guilt-stricken individuals who feel paralyzed and ashamed of their “pigs at the trough” lifestyle may email the Carbon Confessor to release the “tarnish of bad decision making”.
The gender-anonymous CC (as they are affectionately known by their inner circle) got this idea when friends began telling them when they strayed from leading a purely eco-life. “We would spontaneously be put on the spot to listen to friends admit all sorts of green sins. Maybe it would be the fact that they bought a non-recyclable plastic container. Maybe it was their upcoming trip to Mexico. We’ve heard many sorts of things, and figured we should be of service to the rest of the world’s carbon sinners.”
The Confessor has already received emails from “Sad in San Rafael”, who felt badly about driving to a coffeehouse instead of walking, and from “Hungry in Houston” who knows eating hamburgers takes an environmental toll but seems likely to continue to eat them.
“Unlike other person to person confessional experiences, emailing will allow 24/7 admission of guilt”, says the Confessor, who accepts correspondence from people from any and all faith backgrounds. “Eco-guilt knows no religious boundaries: if you are living on Planet Earth today, you are part of the subtle and not-so-subtle impacts that human activity has on the environment.”
Though mostly a humorous enterprise, The Carbon Confessor hopes to inspire new, improved behavior in his/her confessees. “Once you can let go of guilt, you have an opportunity to look at how to make better choices.” Though it seems unlikely that “Hungry in Houston” will give up burgers, The Confessor hopes this service can be useful to many. “We would be thrilled to help those whose work on behalf of the earth may demand occasional eco- compromises.” Night or day, the Carbon Confessor will help anyone move on to a greener tomorrow.
The Confessor is available at carbonconfessoratsonicdotnet